I stare at the blank page of white before me. The task that I have at hand seems daunting and always has. Yet that voice from deep down inside of me whispers...write anyway. Ok, I yell back drinking my coffee and eating Milk Duds. Something I never, ever do, but seems to be my way of coping with the anxiety I have created from my daunting task. Maybe it’s just daunting because I keep saying it is. Maybe the dark cloud I feel myself in can be removed with a single type of the keys. I have been wanting to write a book for at least 11 years now and I believe maybe even longer. For the longest time the excuse was, who will want to read what I have to say? What makes me think I have anything of value to talk about? Or, the kicker I am not good enough to do that.
I have found every possible excuse why not to do what I have so dreamed of doing. If even just for myself! Writing has been a way of expressing myself and a way of releasing stress. I was always afraid of what people would have to say about my writing, afraid I would hurt someone I love if my book got published, afraid that I would FAIL! I have finally, by the grace of God, gotten to a place where I don’t care any more. Even if the book goes out to 5 people and it is because I Gave it to them, I don’t care. There comes a time in your creative life where you just have to say this is what I am going to do and I am going to do it for me and no one else and if other people like it and get something out of it, then that is a huge bonus.
For so long I was worried about writing to my audience. I would be writing and then stop and think oh, no what if my audience doesn’t like that, or this. Which would then leave me starring at my computer screen at a blank sheet after deleting everything I had just put down. There are many people out there who have studied what you need to do to get your book published, to know your audience and sell millions of copies. You can sit and study all of that until you are blue in the face, but at the end of the day you probably still have not written your book, or even a page of it. Maybe after you have written one book, then you can start studying and know the facts for how to get it out there and yes, you should have an outline and a general idea of what you are doing.
But my advice, more to myself than anyone else, is just to write your book for you. Write what you want to write on the first draft and don’t think about anyone else. Just write. Because then you will get some where. Then you will begin to believe in yourself and what you have to say and then you will begin to put your book together. And who knows, maybe no one will read it, or maybe you will be a best-seller, but at least at the end of the day you can say I did what I wanted to do for ME. And really what is more important than that!?!
I found you from an article you wrote on Mind Body Green - loved it.
ReplyDeleteI read your words here and understand totally what you're saying.
I finally published my first book via Kindle Direct Publishing in Oct after years and years of saying I would write it. My problem was that I wanted it to be perfect, so I could never get past the first couple of chapters because I would scrap them and start again.
Sometimes as you say, you just have to write it for you and like you, my writing is great stress relief. The response from people who have read it has been really positive and I've started the second one but still find myself striving for perfection, it doesn't go away.
This time though I will push through because I know I've gotten there before. You will too, when you believe you can.
Best of luck with it
Wow, I just read this! Not sure why it didn't come through to me before. This is exactly what I needed to hear right now! Thank you so so much for writing this! I have still not fully committed to my book yet and I want to! Did you like working with Kindle Direct Publishing?
ReplyDeleteThank you again and best of luck to you!